The Blog

Restoring Balance: It’s About Time

balance and clockIt always come down to time, doesn’t it? Everything we do has a time component.  From the minute our alarm wakes us in the morning until we lay our weary heads down at night, we are governed by time.

In fact, we depend on our watches to “watch” the time for us.  It is fundamentally our universal tool to measure a given day; our personal alert system to remind us when we have to do just about anything. Time doesn’t only punctuate our mealtimes, appointments, or travel;  it organizes all of our life activities.  Essentially, it is our ultimate “life tracker.” Unfortunately, it is not a flawless system.

The simple truth is that we all regard time differently.  Some of us adhere to it fastidiously, while others not so much.  Regardless, whether or not you have the more nonchalant attitude or actually struggle with time-management, you are still at risk of losing your daily balance.

We must remember that time is measurable.  And when we lose track of it, it can disturb our balance.  Think about how many costly consequences there are as a result of time not being on our side.  There are appointments to make, schedules to meet, planes to catch, time zones to calculate, and if there is one small glitch in the system, it can all go very wrong.

Things happen.  There are unforeseen circumstances that are clearly out of our hands.  It can be as minimal as oversleeping, unpredictable as traffic, or as serious as an unfortunate accident, personal health, or family crisis.  Any one of these scenarios can spill into late appointments, missed plane connections, or even worse.

In a perfect world, when we can control time, it is precisely what connects us to one another, isn’t it? “I’ll meet you @ 1:00 for lunch” or “Conference call at 3:00,” or “Dinner’s at 8:00pm.”  It’s our frame of reference, both casually and professionally.  It’s what makes the world go ’round.  It’s a universal language that keeps us on schedule, at least most of the time.

But all too often, we take time for granted or are too busy to realize its rapid passing.  Hence, we lose control of the day and beyond.  Managing one’s time is a common challenge but for many, this is a daily struggle.  “If we cannot feel the sweep of time, we cannot manage it,”  is one of my sustaining take-aways from a recent NAPO Conference I attended.

The good news is that there are solutions.  I don’t typically promote products on my blog but it’s an opportune time to give this one a shout out, simply because it works.  It’s one of my favorite time-manager tools, called the Time Timer.  It’s a super effective product I recommend to clients that battle with time-management issues.

For me, it’s about old school thinking.  I can still remember the big analog classroom clocks ticking away one second-hand at a time, being able to watch time pass and waiting for the bell to ring.  In today’s digital world, it is far more difficult to conceptualize the passage of time.  Think about it, can you really “feel” the time sweep from 1:27 pm to 1:42 pm?  With this timer, you can visually watch time elapse, without the dreaded ticking. You will actually “see” time pass. Every time I use it, it still surprises me that the set time had expired so rapidly. In fact, this tool is actually a great time “teacher.”  I learned these three lessons;

1) When you’re immersed in a task, you can easily lose track of time and control.

2) Everything takes longer than you think.

3) Being more mindful of time, significantly heightens focus and increases productivity. (helps to manage those obsessive time robbers too)

Exploring effective methods to track time will likely raise awareness of how you use time and can instigate a shift in mindset.  Essentially, it plugs you into “self” and connects your actions to an accountable timeline.

Being more mindful can arguably change the relationship we have with time. If we can regard time more efficiently, perhaps we can make it work for us, not against us. Relying on time as our life-manager can restore the balance we might be lacking.

What’s your relationship with time? Are you in control? If you pay attention with a more critical eye, I bet time will tell.

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Pacing Your Holiday Busy; Up Close and Personal

1435817704_optBelieve it or not, some of us already have the holiday table set, gifts already purchased as well as wrapped, and menus planned. But… then there’s everyone else. There are those who slowly and steadily accumulate gifts and check off diligently, and yet there are those who haven’t even begun to think about jumping into the frenzy. So where are YOU on the continuum?  One thing I know, for sure…it’s personal.  Very.

Having already celebrated Chanukah, I’m no longer channeled into the shopping cue, so I’m observing with a more objective eye.  I’m now more cognizant of the frenetic energy in each store I enter, and sense the heightened anxiety on everyone’s faces.

It’s so very easy to get caught up in the tumult around us. The stores are filled with the contagion of holiday busy and TV commercials are selling holiday joy every 10 minutes. Inevitably, we are lured into the madness. These influencers can interrupt our focus.

The challenge is in finding the balance.  Here’s how;  Don’t get caught up in other’s exuberance, find your own rhythm.  Above all, make your own choices. It’s your holiday,  your personal kind of joy. Don’t beat yourself up for not keeping up with the “idealized” version of the holidays.  Not everyone is shopping for cars, and diamonds, and expensive technology. Not everyone has the time or money to shop endlessly.

Keeping pace that’s within your comfort zone will be far more fulfilling than trying to measure up to somebody else’s.

Pacing your holiday busy means beating to your own drum.  It really has less to do with being more organized than the next guy, it’s more about knowing your natural life rhythm,  identifying your objectivesand the ability to manage time.  Certainly, effective time-management strategies play a huge role in customizing your pace. Taking on too much in a concentrated period of time is fruitless.  Evaluate your “busy” and be sure it’s filled with activities you enjoy. Holiday shopping, party invites, and celebratory dinners can overwhelm your schedule. Choose wisely.

Quite often, we burn out and stress out before the holiday even arrives. Instead, take a time out.  Find your personal pace and seize the opportunity to experience the great joy of celebrating your way.

Somehow, it all gets done.  It always does.  Even if your proclivity is to be the “last-minute” shopper, and you’re more inclined to wait it out, you could be just as productive as the early bird “doorbuster” shopper. Choose the kind of holiday busy that works best with your comfort level.

The holidays are indeed a beautiful time to celebrate life, family and friends.  The key is to let it be joyful, not stressful.  Listen to your inner voice and sync your personal pace with the holiday commotion. Perhaps you need to slow it down, or do less.  Pay attention.  Truly, that’s how to create a “happy” holiday.

Are you all “wrapped up” in holiday busy? How are you pacing yourself? If you’ve got a minute, come join in the conversation 🙂

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Are You Wearing Too Many Hats? Trendy or Foolish?

hats_optAt our core, we are all somebody’s son or daughter.  If we are lucky, we are also a sister or brother, a niece or nephew, a mother or father, a wife or a husband. We wear those “hats” proudly.

These relationships alone need our nurturing and sometimes, even managing 24/7. But the fact is that we all lead busy lives that extend beyond the scope of these familial connections.

If you have a job, you can switch “hats” as soon as you leave the house, and immerse yourself in that role and alternate responsibilities. Two hats, no biggie.

If you are solepreneur with a home-based business, you’ll have a little more of a daily challenge of juggling your work life with home-life.  It’s very hard to separate these two hats, but if you set boundaries, it can be done.  Finding the balance is the secret.

This all seems simple enough. Go to work, return home, relax, sleep, repeat. Think again. I think we aspire to be busy, it’s part of our trendy culture.  We fill the voids of our free schedule with a myriad of other responsibilities and yet complain about not having enough time to do other things we enjoy.

Some of us volunteer for  multiple committees, sit on a variety of executive boards, coach children’s sports and/or carpool their over-scheduled activities, or accept additional work-related commitments and opportunities that are not mandatory. Add on the extracurricular activities like the gym, exercise, or any sport we try to squeeze in, and we are maxx-ed out at our limit.  We’ve hit the wall, alas.

So this begs the question, are you in over your head?  How many hats are too many?

At a recent NAPO conference in New Orleans, clinical psychologist, Dr. David Tolin suggests that our time should match up with our values and goals. We must learn to prioritize.  Take an honest look at your life. If you don’t have enough “free” time, evaluate the reasons.  One of the biggest time wasters is the inability to say “no.” Dr. Tolin infers that we feel too guilty to decline a request because too often we worry what others will think, or fear they will think we are lazy. We are reluctant to disappoint and equate compliance with increased respect and like-ability (and that goes for our children’s suffocating schedules, as well).  So we agree to wearing yet another “hat.”  Tolin makes an excellent point,  we have a tendency to value other people’s time more than our own. We must learn to say “no” and not feel guilty about these choices.

While wearing many hats can be outwardly impressive, we should really look at the bigger picture.  If we value time, we must question if another new role compromises it.  If we spread ourselves too thin, something’s got to give.  It can only result in burn-out.  The need to set limits and boundaries is paramount.

Is there something you want to do that you’re not able to do because of an obligation you were reluctant to decline?

So the next time someone recruits you for yet another commitment, before you say “yes,” ask yourself if you’re in over your head.

Remember you have only one head, so how many hats can you wear effectively?  Too many hats of too many colors may not be the fashion trend that you can wear well.

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The Social Phenomenon That Can Impede on Your Vacation

man-plugged-in-on-beach-300x199_optAre you one of those?  You know, the ones that can never disconnect from their cell phones, blackberries, laptops, or iPad?  The operative word is never.  The social phenomenon of being connected to our personal and professional worlds, 24/7, is part of our pop culture.

The job spill dilemma is the most challenging of all. If your’e always connected, you can never really disengage when you’re on vacation or relaxing on a beach somewhere.  Isn’t the point of a vacation to enjoy a “get-a-way?”  Can you resist the pull and self-impose a disconnect? The job will be there upon your return, so make the most of your time away from it.  Stay in that moment while it lasts.

If you really want to get the greatest benefit from your vacation, try reading a great novel, engage in any physical activity that you don’t normally do, or take a nap. Defy the temptation to hook up with your work-related life.  Don’t be a victim just because the hot spots are there because you know then you’ll feel compelled to connect.  It is the ultimate exercise in self-control.  It’s difficult to ignore the lure of the Internet, but it will still be there when you get home and so will Face Book, Twitter, your Inbox, etc.

How we manage our leisure time correlates to how we balance our lives.  Social media may be an addicting phenomenon, but we can control it by making choices.  This is the ultimate exercise in time-management. Maybe connect once a day, or check e-mails every other, or not at all.  You choose. We all like to think that we are indispensable, but life still goes on in our absence.

Focus on reducing the brain clutter, re-direct the barrage of thoughts spiraling through your brain. Allow yourself to slow down, drift off, and feel the calm.

It’s hard to remember a time when weren’t connected to our technology.  I can remember when leaving the office really meant leaving the work behind.  Ahhh….vacation.   Take it and run.  Let go. Relax. Escape. Disconnect.  Can you do it?

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Are You Too Busy For Your Own Good?

Everybody’s busy.  Who do you know that is not busy?  It’s the new normal.  Just ask anyone, “how are you?” and I’ll bet they’ll reply with a “good,” and add a boastful “busy.” It has become an aspired status that implies heightened productivity and success.  But we must pay attention to our individual capacities and be mindful when we reach our max. Too busy can be counterproductive and unhealthy.

Especially this time of year, we all have so much on our plates.  As if we had any extra time, the holidays just wring us dry of whatever spare time we might have.  But take note…there is good busy and bad busy.

The good busy is immersing yourself in the holiday festivities in a healthy way.  Work hard, play hard, shop smart.  Finding the balance between the every day and the added holiday to do’s, and finding the joy in the busy. Embracing the spirit of the holiday and not getting caught up in the consumer mania is easier for some more than others. The good busy people are able to resist the romance of over -acquiring. Staying focused helps them buy practical, buy less, and reduce the overwhelming holiday stress. They are enjoying the holiday frenzy.

Now for the bad busy.  We all are busy with our  jobs and/or just normal daily responsibilities.  No need to drown yourself in work commitment, holiday shopping, and operate in full throttle 24/7.  We are fragile.  Indeed, we are stressed, pressed for time, and overwhelmed, but we cannot be our best selves if we are constantly pushing the envelope.

In truth, being a workaholic and a shopaholic can prove to be fruitless, exhausting, and lead to burn-out. With the additional holiday pressure to get everything on your list done, you can easily drown in overwhelm and get caught up in a bad busy cycle.

What if I told you that if you stopped being so busy for a minute and relinquished a bit more more time to organize and manage your lifestyle better, you’d actually have MORE time? 

Here’s some helpful tips to reduce the bad busy;

  • Simply make a list of all the things you have to do, but then review the list again.  Now check off the things that only YOU have to do and delegate the rest. Figure out how to cut out a step. Do those things you love to do, and get help with the things you hate to do.
  • No need to spend the time or money on expensive wrapping paper.  Have the store wrap for you, or use shopping bags and stuff them with tissue paper.  Use stick-on labels instead of attaching gift cards. A huge time saver.
  • Simplify the complicated.  If possible, stay out of the stores and shop on-line. Avoid the long lines. They only add anxiety.
  • Don’t struggle with the “perfect” gift.  Buy gift cards.  They are always appreciated and they eliminate returns.
  • Buy clutter free gifts.  They are the most precious of all. Give the gift of time. Buy concert tickets, dinners, dance lessons, or spa treatments.  Be creative with your “love” gifts. They need not be expensive, just thoughtful.
  • Buy baked goods this year or store bought food, if this is too stressful for you.  Don’t feel guilty about it, your holidays will not be less happy.  Focus on the celebration with family and friends.
  • Forgive yourself if you didn’t have the time to send out holiday cards.  Don’t stress about it, let it go. It’s not the worse thing in the world. Maybe next year.

 

These are all small changes you can make to free up some more time to have fun!  Remember, “done is better than perfect!”

If you can’t enjoy this festive time, what’s the point? Now that you’ve  got a minute…Come join the conversation.  Are you good busy or bad busy?

 

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Shhh…Mum’s the Word: Everyday is Mother’s Day!

Don’t beat yourself for not being Martha Stewart.  So what if your condiments and spices aren’t alphabetized and arranged in size order. Big deal if you don’t excel in cooking, baking, crafting, planting, and redecorating?

If a hectic day encumbers you from cooking a hearty family dinner, order in the pizza (but without the guilt!) The kids will be just as happy, if not happier. It doesn’t make you a bad Mom if you’re not greeting the kids after school, adorned with a Betty Crocker apron, and a batch of freshly baked cookies.

But the one thing that these revered women have mastered and you might want to emulate is, being more organized.   Motherhood demands it, and not just in the kitchen.

Being a Mom is both the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have.   It’s also a job that is never done.  The schedule of a busy Mom can be grueling.  It’s so hard to balance motherhood with the daily stresses, being attentive to every one’s needs and keeping the house organized too.

Initially, you probably have all good intentions to be the quintessential Mom but your chaotic schedule, all too often, gets in the way and wears you down.  A busy household has a myriad of activities going on simultaneously, and it’s understandable when things spin out of control. It doesn’t seem to matter how old the kids are; a busy house is still a busy house.  The chaos can create messy piles ranging from diapers and toys, to video games and sneaker piles.

Being able to find what you need when you need to, is the essence of being organized.  Use it as a vital tool to manage your busy household.  Warning: Don’t go for perfect, it’s far too an ideal to strive for and don’t beat yourself up for never getting there.  Be who you are, don’t change you.  Just modify those habits that are tripping you up and causing you anxiety. Sometimes it’s about changing the little things that reduce a lot of the stress.

Here’s a helpful tip:

Before bed, think about what the next day looks like and jot down the logistics and time frames of the day’s schedule.  Evaluate where you have to be and when.  Is it your turn to carpool? Do you need to pack snacks to go because you will be on the run all day? Make a list of phone calls that you will need to make and prepare a doable to do list. Organize your day before you begin the day.

Try changing one routinely task that takes up more time than you’d like, and implement a way to do it faster.  Cut out a step.  It might be making the kid’s lunch, preparing the school knapsack, or planning their outfit the night before.  Eliminate the morning battles.

Think more efficient with less effort. Streamlining the daily process will save you time and give you more time to breathe. And while you’re at it, give yourself a well-deserved hug! Happy Mother’s Day to all 🙂

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What’s All the Fuss About Organizing?

Everyone’s talking about it.  Reality TV shows like Hoarders, Enough Already, and Buried Alive are turning heads while revealing the challenges of chronic disorder. This media exposure has given us all an opportunity to look more introspectively into our own lives. While most of these stories are extreme cases, so many more of us still struggle with normal levels of day to day organization.

I know what you must be thinking. You haven’t got the TIME .  I get it.  No doubt, we are all so busy with our lives; our schedules are hectic, our relationships are complex, our jobs are stressful, and the one commodity we all lack is the overabundance of FREE time. And when we finally find some leisure time, we certainly don’t want to spend it cleaning and sorting our stuff. Let’s face it, not only do we all own way too much stuff,  we have too much stuff to do, and little time to do it in!

We have an influx of paper coming into our homes at rapid speed, without ample time to sort or trash. We have bills past due, magazines unread, clothes galore (neither cleaned, folded, or found) There are pens that don’t write, projects that never get finished, garages that no longer accommodate our cars, consistently lost or misplaced items, and a vast collection of seldom watched CD’s and DVD’s that are climbing up our walls, etc. You and I both know that this list could go on forever. So what do we do? We do what any other average person would do; we continue to put things off for LATER.  But here’s the thing…putting things off for LATER just creates a million tomorrows that keep mounting into an overwhelming and fruitless situation. Procrastination is paralyzing and exhausting.

Make the time. Create more time to do the things you want to do, not have to do. Don’t you deserve that?

If your “TO DO”  list is growing and being neglected, chances are its filling your head with needless clutter, and impeding on your functionality. The solution is simple: Time-management.  Organization is the most vital tool we have to manage our daily lives. It nourishes our productivity in both our personal and professional lives.

Being organized is the best way to maintain balance and order in our daily lives, while providing a more efficient and functional landscape for our ENTIRE life. More importantly, an ORGANIZED life is a more fulfilling one.  It will reduce the day–to-day stress, and give us more time to enjoy our life and our family!

So if getting organized is the latest rage, don’t you want to join in all the fuss? Jump in. Be trendy.

 

 

 

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2 Power Tools You Need to Help Manage the Stress of a Busy Day

I have yet to meet a person that does not complain about how busy they are.  It’s seems to be the new standard reply to “how are you?” No more “I’m fine”, just “busy.” The truth is, it is indeed the sign of the times.  We are all guilty of immersing ourselves into over-scheduled days, action packed with juggling commitments, meeting deadlines, racing to appointments, and circuitous car pool runs.  Mornings are hectic, work days grow longer, and conventional mealtimes have become more spontaneous than scheduled.

Don’t fool yourself; as a result of this daily chaos, we all suffer.  We are all overextended, overbooked, at high speed overload doomed to crash and burn.

Being busy can be challenging but doable, but being too busy is arguably dangerous.  Mistakes are inevitable, and if you have not planned well, important dates, commitments, possessions, etc. can be overlooked, lost, or forgotten.  Is your busy schedule robbing you of things that matter to you? Are you lacking balance in your life?

What if I told you that if you stopped being so busy for a hot minute and relinquished a bit more more time to organize your lifestyle better, you’d actually have MORE time?

As to not unravel, I suggest two imperative tools to balance your life.  Meet ORGANIZE and EXERCISE.  They go hand in hand because they work in the same way for your mind, body, and soul. Hopefully most of us take to the gym to work out the stress we lug around,  and strive to keep our bodies healthy and fit.  Physical exercise is an excellent outlet to relieve our stress and provide the balance we require to function.  Just as exercising targets specific muscle groups, mental organizing can target specific tasks and accelerate productivity.  Take time out and focus on what matters to you.

EXERCISE your brain and ORGANIZE your priorities.

WARM-UP: Consider preparedness as your warm-up before a busy stressful day.  It could prevent you from spiraling out of control.  Consider your day at a glance, and make adjustments if your schedule looks too full.  Paradoxically, if your life’s treadmill is running too fast, slow down and customize the speed that works for you.

STRETCH: Use bits of time that you can carve out as as an opportunity to stretch your potential and make positive changes in your harried schedule.

TRAIN: Train your mind to stay on task.  Be aware of your actions and deliberate.  Time is invaluable, don’t waste it, get a value from it.

ALIGN: Organizing your daily plan will keep you in alignment. Be clear and realistic about your daily goals.

BREATHE: Adhering to an agenda that is not abusive will enable you to pause and breathe. It’s important to catch a breath during a hectic day.  Build in some wiggle room into your schedule, allowing for the unforeseen and unexpected.

Manage your settings; modify both your workout or work ethic. Take back the control. Being ORGANIZED, like EXERCISE, means having a routine, a plan, and a system.

Exercising daily is empowering and feeds your productivity.  Active planning and organizing will do the same.  In both scenarios, if you don’t schedule it, it won’t happen.  Make time-management just another EXERCISE of your day.

ORGANIZE and EXERCISE are powerful tools to manage and balance our lifestyles and can help us live our best life. Make them part of  your daily routine. Careers, marriages, relationships depend on it. 

Are you too busy?

 

 

 

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Attention All Moms: Give Yourself a Hug!

Don’t beat yourself for not being Martha Stewart.  So what if your condiments and spices aren’t alphabetized and arranged in size order. Big deal if you don’t excel in cooking, baking, crafting, planting, and redecorating?

If a hectic day encumbers you from cooking a hearty family dinner, order in the pizza (but without the guilt!) The kids will be just as happy, if not happier. It doesn’t make you a bad Mom if you’re not greeting the kids after school, adorned with a Betty Crocker apron, and a batch of freshly baked cookies.

But the one thing that these revered women have mastered and you might want to emulate is, being more organized.   Motherhood demands it, and not just in the kitchen.

Being a Mom is both the hardest and most rewarding job you will ever have.  The schedule of a busy Mom can be grueling.  It’s so hard to balance motherhood with the daily stresses, being attentive to every one’s needs and keeping the house organized too.

Initially, you probably have all good intentions to be the quintessential Mom but your chaotic schedule, all too often, gets in the way and wears you down.  A busy household has a myriad of activities going on simultaneously, and it’s understandable when things spin out of control. It doesn’t seem to matter how old the kids are; a busy house is still a busy house.  The chaos can create messy piles ranging from diapers and toys, to video games and sneaker piles.

Being able to find what you need when you need to, is the essence of being organized.  Use it as a vital tool to manage your busy household.  Warning: Don’t go for perfect, it’s far too an ideal to strive for and don’t beat yourself up for never getting there.  Be who you are, don’t change you.  Just modify those habits that are tripping you up and causing you anxiety. Sometimes it’s about changing the little things that reduce a lot of the stress.

Here’s a tip: Before bed, think about what the next day looks like and jot down the logistics and time frames of the day’s schedule.  Evaluate where you have to be and when.  Is it your turn to carpool? Do you need to pack snacks to go because you will be on the run all day? Make a list of phone calls that you will need to make and prepare a doable to do list. Organize your day before you begin the day.

Try changing one routinely task that takes up more time than you’d like, and implement a way to do it faster.  Cut out a step.  It might be making the kid’s lunch, preparing the school knapsack, or planning their outfit the night before.  Eliminate the morning battles.

Think more efficient with less effort.  Streamlining the daily process will save you time and give you more time to breathe.  And while you’re at it, give yourself a well-deserved hug! Happy Mother’s Day to all 🙂

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