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The Psychology of Driving; What Lane Do You Play In?

02/27/2013 By Nancy Borg With no comments yet

highway-lanes_optDo you love to drive on an open freeway, crank up the music, and just let it rip?  I do, especially by myself.  I can sing and shout and let it all out, and most grateful that I have no audience.  Trust me, it’s not pretty.  Just the other day  I was cruising while singing along with the classic rock song on the radio, ” Life is a highway, I wanna drive it, all night long,” and it made me think…

Just imagine for a minute that “life” is a highway, and that the lanes signify not only how we navigate our car, but how we move through our lives. It’s about how we steer the “course,” and maneuver all the bumps and crazy turns.

The 3 lanes of a highway provides us with different options for speed, and that allows us to find our individual comfort lane.  The left lane is the express lane and perhaps appeals to a more self-assured nature, the one who is apt to take more risks;  enjoys flirting with danger and less inclined to adhere to rules of the road.  This driver is comfortable with the fast pace, or is in a constant hurry, racing through the day or perhaps, their life.

The middle lane could be considered the safe lane and I suspect the most popular one for the average driver.  Not much to think about, just straight ahead, slow and steady. Complacent, not inclined to change much or make impulsive decisions.

The right lane, while a transitional one (because eventually, every car must exit),  is ultimately the safest lane and therefore the most desirable lane for an overly cautious, timid, or nervous driver.

In any case, some of us choose to pick a lane, and remain there for the duration of our drive. Others might be too impatient for that. You know that driver, the chronic lane changer, often weaving in and out of lanes and always jockeying for position. This driver is not afraid to change, but perhaps lacks consistency, and is apt to change more frequently, rather than sticking to a plan.

As we explore this metaphor, it’s clear that driving styles can certainly be very revealing about one’s character. With some deeper introspection, it’s really just another way to see ourselves.  A bird’s eye view from a different perspective. Having another opportunity to learn how we manage our life is another opportunity to stop and self-evaluate it. Slow down, step on the brake, or maybe even impose a complete stop. And possibly, change direction altogether.

Perhaps you’ve never thought about the psychology of driving before, but if you pay closer attention, it may potentially change the way you look at yourself and how you think about time. The way in which we drive can speak volumes about the risks we take and the choices we make.  These styles may conceivably reflect in our lifestyle/work-style.

I believe there is a connection.  What kind of driver are you?

  • Do you fully stop at stop signs, or roll through them?
  • Do you ignore speed bumps?
  • Do you race through yellow caution lights?
  • Do you obey speed limits?
  • Do you comply with Do Not Turn on Red signs?
  • Are you a respectful driver or are you guilty of road rage?
  • Tailgater or horn honker?

 

So next time you get into the driver seat, ask yourself? Who’s really behind the wheel? Are you playing in the fast track, playing it safe, or tend to be a bit more cautious?  Pick a lane, any lane.  Remember, it’s a choice.  Take control.  Your highway, your life.  Drive it at your own speed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Slow Down…Are you Moving too Fast?

02/20/2013 By Nancy Borg With 3 comments

Have you ever been in such a hurry that in an attempt to get things done faster, it results in the contrary? Often, the effort to rush to complete one’s tasks becomes nothing short of futile.  As a result, things inevitably go wrong.  Mistakes are made.  We miss appointments or forget to do important things, and in the end, it actually wastes more time.

Do you think it’s because we genuinely have too much to do with too little time? Or, is it that we intentionally take on more, because we are so driven to earn more, accomplish more, and acquire more.  There is a difference.  One suggests we really do have a lot on our plate, but the latter implies that we are indeed creating our own pressure. It’s our competitive nature that fuels us. We have willingly enrolled in life’s fast-paced rat race to the finish.  Irregardless, both scenarios have a significant time-management component and good reason to think about slowing down.

We can all can agree that there is a price to pay for that compulsive drive to do more, to be better. And if we consider the harried pace in which we attempt to accomplish it all,  we are in danger of losing control.  Productivity obviously suffers but more importantly, one’s health and finance can be at risk too. Rushing through an over-scheduled day can be suffocating. It not only breeds stress, it can impact thoughtful decision making and yield a host of other negative consequences. Can you think of a time that a hasty decision had significant financial ramifications?

Yet with our busy lives, it is increasingly difficult to be “present” for each and every activity we engage in.  We frequently do a lot of tasks by sheer rote.  How many times are we operating on auto-pilot?  Too many, I’m afraid.  All too often, we are doing one thing while thinking about another. So many of us rushing around, doing, without even thinking.  Pushing the envelope, until we can push no more.

“You can only go as fast as the slowest part of you can go,”  said Bonnie Raitt after a 7 year hiatus from the studio. Wise words to contemplate. Classic take-away…know thyself.

So if your plate is too full, avoid trying to clean it all up in a hurry.   Stop.   Slow down.   Breathe.   It’s the only way to manage the overload.  It is far easier to focus on one task at a time and give it your proper attention, than rushing through too many simultaneously.  Nothing gets done well, just a lot of mediocre.

When you’re moving too fast,  it is difficult to make a connection between yourself and your task at hand. 

Conscious doing is far more effective than unconscious doing.  It is intentional participation.  No matter what it is that you’re doing, being “in the moment” will sharpen any experience and most likely emit better results. But we need to create the time and space to concentrate and pause.  In this way, we can  control our daily pace.  Beware of the dangers in unconscious multitasking. It can be an obstacle for getting things done, rather than a quicker solution.

As one who talks fast, walks fast, and works fast, I confess to doing just about everything fast.  It is very challenging to slow myself down, but when I do, I admit I feel more balanced.  My secret is committing to Pilates classes three times a week.  It is there that I can stop, breathe and get off the merry-go-round.

We can probably all benefit from slowing down a little, taking it down a notch.  Really, what’s the big rush? Where’s the fire?

So if you’re moving too fast,  how do you slow down?  What’s your secret?  I don’t mean to rush you, lol,  but I look forward to your comments. Inquiry minds want to know.

 

 

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The Essential X-Factor in Sustainable Organization

02/13/2013 By Nancy Borg With 4 comments

Watering-plants_opt

 

 

 

 

 

I’m all about sustainability,  it is the very trademark of my business.  By definition, it means the capacity to endure. Yet we must acknowledge that in life, things change, people change.  We grow, we evolve, and so we must continually adapt our daily systems to our current needs.

Countless times, I’m reminded that establishing sustainability can only exist through maintenance, the quintessential X-factor.  As a flower needs the rain, our systems need the same TLC.  There is no one trick pony, no eternal fix.

Organization needs “nurturing,” in order to sustain itself.  We must give it proper attention or it simply will not endure.

I re-visit client’s homes and realize that sometimes the systems didn’t work, not because they weren’t good, but because their “needs” had changed. Or, perhaps I didn’t hone in on their specific preference of learning styles. I could never have known that, until it failed.  Together we had implemented solutions that we thought would be fail-safe, but in fact, they could not be sustained. It worked, until it didn’t.

So we tweak, and if necessary, tweak once more.  It is more than a tedious process.  Make no mistake about it, it is a life long journey.

Typically, I begin with an elementary improvement of organization, and the client is seemingly happy.  But with time and an increased awareness, the client yearns for more. They are invigorated and inspired with the noticeable improvements.

Whether it’s a paper filing system or the transformation of their spaces, their standards have been piqued. And so their enthusiasm requires me to micro-manage further. The systems continue to improve. To witness their evolution and personal growth is often remarkable, and one that still astounds me.

Sustainability is achievable but not in a vacuum.  Be mindful that with growth, comes change.  We never stand still, we keep on moving, forever evolving, and so must our life systems.  We must maintain the systems by fine-tuning them to our distinct proclivities. Then, and only then, can sustainability  prosper.

So ask yourself if your home, office, or life organization has sustained itself. Are your systems still working for you?  Have you adapted to the changes in your lifestyle?  Evaluate.  Perhaps you’re missing the X-factor.

 

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What it Means to Be a Successful Parent: Weighing In on the Apples Seeds

02/06/2013 By Nancy Borg With 5 comments

apple_optGrowing up with “do as I say, not as I do” was confusing. When I think back to my childhood (boy, am I’m aging myself), I can remember my parents smoking cigarettes, but forbidding me to ever try; I recall their using inappropriate language but threatening to wash my mouth out with soap if I ever did.  Don’t get me wrong, my parents did a stellar job in raising my brother and I, and we had a wonderful childhood, but perhaps they weren’t paying attention to the fact that we were indeed watching.

We understood at a young age that we shouldn’t model their bad behaviors because the natural instinct for any parent was to protect their children from harm’s way.  They only wanted the best for us, but as children, we only wanted to grow up and be just like them.  So we absorbed it all; a blend of both good and bad traits.

When my children were small, sugary cereals and snacks, fast food, and carbonated drinks were daily indulgences for all of us.  Twinkies, devils dogs, and Hostess cupcakes were family favorites. I reflect back with tremendous remorse (and huge dental bills to show for it) and question myself if it was ignorance, bad parenting, or both.  But in my defense, health and nutrition were not held to the high standard that they are today, and back then every kid seemed to be romping along in happy candy land, on a perpetual sugar high. It was a repeat of my own childhood.

Now with the trendy rise of wellness and fitness consciousness, I have noticed a new generation of parents who are paying closer attention to healthy living. No more apple juice, soda, white bread, or unhealthy snacks.  But they too, are making healthier choices, and living more wholesome lives.  They are leading by example.

The ultimate challenge of  successful parenting is being a positive role model for our children through our actions, because they really do speak louder than words.  Instilling good values is so important but we must demonstrate them, not merely preach them. Teaching them to think for themselves, to make mistakes and learn from them, and be accountable for their actions are only some of the key ingredients for their success.  These are sustaining life skills that they will utilize as they navigate through the world.  Our objective is to prepare them for the many challenges they will face by providing them with the proper tools.

Undoubtedly, parenting is one of the most difficult roles we take on.   There are no tutorials or standard manuals, and there are certainly no guarantees that great parents produce great kids. 

There is no such thing as the “perfect” parent, but if we remember that our children are paying attention and receiving behavioral cues all the time,  perhaps we can modify some of the bad habits they are apt to inherit. Here are some pitfalls; 

  • If you’re a bit messy and your clothes are strewn all over, don’t be surprised that your kids aren’t putting their toys away. It’s not their fault their things don’t have proper homes, it’s yours. Teach them about the benefits of being organized.  It’s an essential tool they will utilize the rest of their lives.
  • If you’re generally harried, disorganized, and struggle with punctuality, your kids are likely to miss the bus or be late for scheduled appointments. Or worse,  just struggle with time-management in their adult lives.
  • If you are a compulsive couch potato, perhaps your child will also prefer TV over other activities.  Likewise, the avid reader will most likely encourage their children to enjoy reading too. Monkey see, monkey do.
  • If you are not eating healthy or exercising regularly, they probably will be less inclined to do so for themselves.
  • If you don’t recruit your family to help and share household responsibilities, they will not learn these skills.
  • If you don’t use kind words and manage your temper, don’t expect your children to respect others.  Don’t be shocked if they don’t play nicely with others.
  • If you don’t set parameters, the lack of discipline might impact their adult life.

 

Unquestionably, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”  Children are so impressionable, so impress them. You are their role models so model good behavior.  Lead by example.  Plant those good habit seeds early, they will blossom well.

Influence.  The goal is to nurture and protect your child, yet foster independence and self-esteem.  Teach them well, love them hard, and they will thrive.  As parents, one of the most gratifying jobs is to aid them in reaching their fullest potential.  If you can do that, your work is done.  You will have succeeded.

How would you measure success in your children?  Ever wonder what kind of parents your children will grow up to be? Hmm…that could be very telling.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t make a difference whether our kids turn out to be exact mini versions of ourselves, happy hybrids, or completely unique.  It only matters that they’re good apples.  And the secret to that my friends,  is all in the seeds.

 

 

 

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