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Body Language Speaks Volumes…Are Your Antennas Up?

handshake_optI consider myself  a “people” person.  For me that means that I’m open and engaging and I encourage people to interact with me.  I recognize that not everyone is an extrovert, and not everyone is even comfortable around this type of personality.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to both exhibit and present at the Long Island Spring Home Show to raise awareness about my Organizing profession. My colleagues and I exhibited as a group representing NAPO, our affiliated organization.  This was such an enlightening experience that  spoke to the unique characteristics of human behavior.

As an exhibitor, one of our goals was to draw visitors into our booth, engage them, ignite interest, and leave a lasting impression. We experimented standing within the booth, both behind and in front of our table. We also took turns leaving the booth altogether, roaming the Expo room, in hopes of “catching” a passerby and luring them back to our booth. What we discovered that the latter method was way more intimidating and proved to be far less effective. “In your face” sales tactics sometimes feel more threatening because it trespasses people’s comfort “space.”

There were immeasurable take-a-ways that I gleaned from these strategies.  The body language expressed by the passerby’s were so powerfully telling.  They didn’t need to utter a word.  I got an immediate sense if there was any interest at all. As it turned out and based upon the results of new client leads,  my perceptions were “spot on” from the very first glance.   I found that one of the key components of body language was eye contact.  Here’s how I classified the visitors;

The CommitterAvailable. Actively seeking information or help, genuinely interested.

The Chatter– no real interest in what we were “selling,” no real agenda other than to just chat about themselves regarding how “disorganized ” they were,  or on the contrary,  boastful that they were so “very organized.”

The Poker– Approached multiple times, inquisitive but pretending to be only “somewhat” interested but still non-committal.

The Stroller– Casual, laissez-faire attitude. The ideal passerby. Initially made eye contact but their automatic reflex was to look away.

The Stalker– Repeatedly passed by with questionable intent (other than dipping into the free candy dish),  but was reluctant to confront. Hovered, but it was evident they were undecided or perhaps had a hidden agenda.

The Dismisser– When approached,  exuded a condescending attitude, clarifying that they were unequivocally in no need of organizing services.

The Avoider– No eye contact, no interest.

I think it’s a really great life skill to read body language accurately.  The ability to perceive or detect subliminal sensors without even so much as a conversation, is invaluable in both business and in everyday life.  Once a dialogue is initiated, it’s equally important to acknowledge these cues during the interaction as well.  If you are cognizant, you can retrieve priceless information.

So if body language speaks volumes…are you reading them loud and clear?  Do you think that you are a good detector?

In fact, each and every one of us are also projectors. If we pay close attention, we all subconsciously emit a particular attitude with our bodies. How many times have you exuded the body language of Avoider or the Stroller?   I know I have. (mostly when the perfume sales rep in a department stores encroaches to sell me a new fragrance, lol)

Body language is a powerful non-verbal communicator.  The movements of the arms and legs can also convey a great deal of information. Crossed arms might indicate that a person is defensive and closed. Crossed legs “away” from another person might imply dis-interest.  Standing with hands on hips might indicate a person is commanding attention, in control, or ready. Open arms is perceived as a welcoming gesture (open for engagement), and conversely,  arms close to the body can be interpreted as a person who withdraws from attention, in effort to minimize oneself. These are just some examples of subtle signals that can make huge and lasting impressions.

Unfortunately from this vantage point, I cannot hear you nor see you.  But I bet if you were right next to me, I would probably sense how you’re feeling about all this.   Instead, I invite you to share your perspectives and experiences right here.  Inquiry minds need to know 🙂

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Seizing the “Catch-Up” Day to Keep up with the Busy: Did You Schedule it?

file foldersGiven that we all lead very different lives, we all have our own kind of “busy” to manage.  Whether it’s accumulated e-mails, phone calls to return, filing, bill-paying, or scheduling, these are all things that require our eventual attention.

So, what’s your “catch-up” day?  Or do you even have one?

From time to time, we all get back-logged with life in general.  How we choose to “catch up” is clearly personal.  You may have loose ends to tie up at the close of a week, or you may be managing what I refer to as,  weekend residue. You know what I’m talking about, it’s that kind of leftover “clean-up” after a busy and hectic weekend that you avoid tackling. And then there’s everything else in between, right?

The day you prefer to “catch up” with yourself  is really irrelevant.  The key is to “schedule” it to happen or it likely won’t happen at all.

Starting a new week with a clean slate feels great.  For me, I tend to “catch up” with myself on Sunday nights. At an early age, I was programmed to organize and prepare for school (no surprise how I inherited the organizing gene, lol).  It punctuated the end of the weekend, and a start of a new week ahead. This usually meant dinner at home and early to bed. It was a time to gather, clean up, and shift my focus.  I raised my children in the same way and although it was an unpopular job, I chose to be the enforcer of these dreaded practices.

My children are grown now and although I no longer have to micro-manage their routines,  I’m still a creature of habit.  Sunday nights sometimes still feel like “school nights,” and admittedly, they trigger some adolescent anxiety of “Sunday Night Stress” of years ago. I have tried to change it up a little and “catch up” during the daytime, and opt to go out to dinner or even catch a movie. I’ve noticed that those nights feel very different.  It stretches the weekend and relaxes me before a stressful week.  Have to be honest here, while the idea is great, these opportunities are few and far between on a cold winter’s night.  I’m just as happy to declare Sunday a snuggle and catch-up day and never the leave the house at all!

Funny that as routine-oriented that I am, Summertime brings on a whole new energy and so my “catch up” days are not as fixed.  With the longer days, I feel more flexible with my schedule and break down the “catch-ups” differently.  Since I love to be outside,  I prefer the “catch-ups” that can be mobile;  the opportunity to do so outside by poolside is way more enticing than a mandatory lock down inside.  Less stressful and equally productive 🙂 I opt to save the paperwork and housekeeping for a rainy day or evening.

What seems to be abundantly clear is that we all need a day or two to “catch up” in order to “keep up” with our busy lives.  If we fail to do so, things will surely pile up and then we are in danger of chasing our tails.  Overwhelm can easily ensue.  “Keeping up” is really about maintaining a healthy life-balance that will keep our stress level down.

I have polled this question to many friends and colleagues, and have gotten a myriad of responses.  My findings were that those who work from home, or not all, a significant number of people prefer Mondays as their “catch-up” day. What’s yours? Do you have a “catch -up ” strategy to share?

 

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The Rules of Disengagement: My Quest for the Ultimate “Get-Away” Vacation

IMG_2232_optI was up for the challenge.  A vacation “truth or dare.”  I made a choice to live a week without engaging in all Social Media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc.).  So as engines revved, wheels went up, so began my quest for real vacation. As I departed, I detached, i.e. from my virtual world.  I did this, I got away.  I took the dare and discovered some eye-opening truths.

Everyone needs a vacation of some sort.  Whether we opt to stay home or travel to take that break, we all yearn for a respite from the mundane. But vacations are personal.  For some, it’s kept private, and yet others opt to post their travel experiences publicly on the Internet in real-time (myself included). As one who’s very active on Social Media both personally and professionally, I was curious about how this experiment would impact me.

Prior to take-off,  I glanced at my last e-mails, FB news feed, tweets, texts, and “shut down. ”  When I landed and turned my phone back on, the buzzing notifications of incoming e-mails, voice mails, and texts were manic. It was already interfering in my day. My initial impulse was to read and respond to all.  As I looked around waiting for my baggage,  I noticed everyone else’s heads down and glued to their phones.  No surprise there.

It was in that moment that I had a significant shift in thinking.  Other than my personal texts, it could all wait, couldn’t it?  It occurred to me that if I were to resume my activity as if I weren’t on vacation, what was the point of getting away in the first place?  Other than a change of scenery, would I really feel like I was on vacation?

As for my professional web presence, I could have automatically scheduled consistent posts to “appear” as if I were still in the office, but I was committed to an out of office status.  Fighting off the demons of job spill, I chose to be “invisible.”

I’m not going to lie, early on during this exercise, I suffered from a little FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).  So I confess to a quick and curious scroll (now and then), to my FB news feed, checking my e-mail senders, and opting not to interact.  But that was the precise moment that both the challenges arose and epiphanies were revealed.  I caught myself automatically wanted to “like” a post or a pic, but I resisted the urge and the tug to connect. I knew that with one simple click, I could be lured back into a habitual interaction.

Stepping away and removing myself from my virtual reality provided me with a different perspective.  On the outside looking in, my familiar newsfeed felt estranged.  I had distanced myself from my fans, friends, colleagues, and followers.  I disconnected.  I let go. At first, I felt compelled to keep up with the 24/7 broadcasts, but as the days wore on, it became increasingly irrelevant to read older posts from days earlier.  Personally, not having to update my own postings, blogs, or interact with others felt very liberating. I was on vacation and it felt great!

It reminded me that there was a time and life before Facebook. Like old school, I wasn’t distracted with what other people were doing and went about my days visiting with family and friends.  I limited my text messages and made real phone calls to anyone I wanted to contact. While I took one week out of my life to “get away,” I acknowledge it was only a week, and not a life-altering decision.  It was my virtual cleanse, if you will.  My claim is not to undermine the phenomenon or value of any social media.  Above all, I don’t mean to appear hypocritical.  I understood that I would jump right back in upon my return.

But I have to say that this imposed “time-out” was a clarifying experience. The consequences of my disengagement poked these questions;

    • Did I really miss out on anything?
    • Did anyone even notice my absence?
    • Does it matter?
    • Have I regarded Social Media too high a priority in my daily life?
    • Did the vacation feel different?

     

While the answers may seem obvious, asking the questions was very enlightening for me.

The most interesting part of this experiment was not immediately sharing a very exciting moment in my life.  While golfing with a foursome of friends, I got a hole-in-one! We were jumping up and down and screaming with disbelief. After taking the pics, my first instinct was to post to Facebook and share with the universe. But I realized that this too, could wait.  It will be no less relevant or exciting if I posted it when I returned home.  This will be memorable forever.

Now back home, I’m back, both physically and virtually.  I’m blogging, posting, tweeting and liking it, lol.  I just needed the break. Can you do it?  Truth or Dare?

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