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Endings, Transitions and Beginnings: Don’t “Fall Back” Just Step Forward

10/30/2013 By Nancy Borg With 4 comments

6235842449_optFor most Americans, daylight saving time (DST) will end with a “fall back” to standard time on Sunday, November 3, at 2 a.m. Not such a bad thing, really.  We get an extra hour of sleep and an earlier sunset.  This may punctuate the end of one season but yet it marks the beginning of another.

Both the change in time and the need to calibrate our body clock is somewhat of  an “organic” wake-up call. With the shorter days and early darkness, the noticeable change can often make this transition difficult. It can wake us up both literally and figuratively.

But let’s consider the glass half-full thinking as we explore the benefits of morphing into a new season.  Change is in the air. We all can feel it.  Holidays are just around the corner and we can sense new energy and new possibilities. Seasonal changes are natural motivators for evaluating what changes you might want to make in your daily life. It’s a perfect time to explore what’s working for you and what is not.

Here’s just a couple of ways to inspire:

Now is an opportune time to take a quick tour of your closet and evaluate what you wear and what you never will. Take an inventory of your stuff. That fall sweater you saved from last year might look a little more ratty than you remembered.  Organize your closet by “like” categories, so that you can see what you are lacking.  Then, you can go shopping to add to your wardrobe without duplicating something you already have. Ditto to the shoes and boots.  If they can be salvaged, bring them to the shoe repair now, and not wait for the day you want and need to wear them.

Check the buttons on all of your overcoats and toss that lonely glove whose mate never turned up from last winter.  Maybe it’s time to purge the threadbare socks too.  Replenish.  Start fresh.  Organizing also means preparedness for the upcoming season. Be ready.

It’s not too early you begin thinking about the holidays. Take a small bite out of the bigger chunks of your grandiose to-do’s. Reduce the overwhelm by planning just a little bit ahead of what you did last year.  Anything you can do now may minimize the holiday havoc  later.

Productivity tip:  Albeit only an hour, this usually throws many people off schedule.  Technically, we gain an hour sleep but we rarely modify our bedtime, and so we generally feel more tired in the mornings. For the first week, try to acclimate to the hour change by making adjustments in your sleep routine. Resuming energy through any transition is always challenging. 

So transition should not mean procrastinate until the snow day.  Make it an opportunity to not only re-stock, but take stock of yourself and your things.  It should mean get going, get with the change and march onward.

Don’t fall back.  Turn back the time, but not your locomotion.  Set your clocks back, but move forward. Embrace the season with opportunities for change in the physical, mental, and emotional sense.

So what changes are you ready for? What’s your secret for a smooth transition?

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How to Purge the Invisible Clutter

10/24/2013 By Nancy Borg With no comments yet

8417579244_optDoes your head ever get so full that you can’t think straight?  Is it getting in the way of your routine? You might chalk it up to, “it’s just one of those days,” but in the eventuality that it bleeds into another day or two, your inner voice begins to nudge. It’s impeding on your productivity.  You know when you know.  Something’s up.

Ironically, in some cases, this sense of overwhelm has nothing to do with the physical clutter at all. In fact, your home could be very orderly and closets fairly organized and yet, you are still distracted, and somewhat anxious.  You feel off. You’re more forgetful and definitely not on your game.

Chances are that if you not addressing your anxieties, they are likely to mushroom into a heavy cloud of emotional clutter in your head. This can be just as paralyzing as physical clutter.

When self-defeating thoughts invade, it not only clutters our brain, it drains our battery.  It can stop us dead in our tracks.  We can become both unglued and stuck at the same time.  In the attempt to ward off this uneasiness, many of us internalize the anxiety and bury it deeper through either avoidance and denial.  But if left unresolved, in time it will fester.  It will grow and build like tumbleweed.

Clearing emotional clutter is so very difficult and complex.  It’s not tangible yet it’s something we hold on to. We feel it deeply.  So how can we possibly toss it?

As with the clearing of physical clutter, there are some steps we can follow to begin the shedding process.

Acknowledge:

Acknowledge that you may be emotionally stuck. Pay attention to the signals.  Recognizing and admitting to the struggle is the very first step and will allow the buried emotions to surface.

Sort:

Sort and organize your feelings, just as if they were things.  Too many contrasting thoughts swimming around in your head can compete for your attention. Try to write them down and pinpoint them.  Some emotional clutter can be clear and definable while others may be less conscious. You may be overwhelmed with negative self-talk, worry, guilt, shame, doubt, fear, or stress. Classifying your emotions and distinguishing your frustrations with all your life relationships (personal, family, and in the workplace) can be a very cathartic process. This process alone can provide some clarity.

Evaluate:

Once you have sorted the emotions, you can evaluate how they are getting in the way of your “stuckness.”  Before you can purge the negativity,  you must find the pain.  Identify the source of the negative thoughts and feelings through honest introspection, or by enlisting help from friends, family, or a professional expert.  An objective eye is sometimes more accurate than self-talk.

Purge:

Give yourself permission to feel the emotions but not to inhibit your daily productivity.  Confront your demons. Unburden. Look to resolve the conflicts in your personal relationships. It is unlikely that they will fix themselves.  Release and let them  go. As with physical clutter, by letting go, we can create more space for positive energy.

Propel:

Now that you’ve sorted, evaluated, and purged the emotional residue, you’ve cleared the clutter and can move forward with an untroubled focus.

Understand that over time we all accumulate some measure of emotional clutter.  The more self-actualized we become, the more skillful we will be in managing it.  When it interferes with our life-balance , it’s time to repeat this process.

 

 

 

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Personal Change and the Zebra Within

10/16/2013 By Nancy Borg With 2 comments

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Visiting the San Diego Zoo this past August was one of my favorite memories of the summer. While strolling and enjoying the spectacular animal kingdoms, I was particularly drawn to the zebras. I was struck by both their likeness as well their differences. Although at first glance, they appeared the same, up close and personal, they were in fact, unique. I since learned that while their general patterns are similar, there are no two sets of zebra stripes exactly alike.

It got me thinking about people. We too, are truly unique.  No two blueprints alike. If given the same task, we would all probably approach it differently, even if it yielded the same results. Each of us have our own core competencies, values, and personalities that navigate us through our lives.  That’s what makes the world go ’round.

Unfortunately, the Zebra’s markings are fixed. Like the expression suggests, “a zebra never changes its stripes.” They are stuck with them, forever branded. This reference suggests the “inability to change,”  and implies that a person’s personality flaws are not likely to shift. Of course, a contrary belief is that all of us have the ability to surrender an unfavorable trait or two, and change. And I’m a believer.  No one is born with bad habits, they are learned. Therefore, they can be unlearned through change and with the passage of time. At least, it is possible.

In this regard, let’s talk about two kinds of change; willful and passive.

The willful aspect of change is acknowledging the need and aligning it up with intent to pursue. When our life isn’t working, we generally feel the warning signs (pre-contemplation). There is a moment of clarity (contemplation). We react with a deliberate consciousness to act on these instincts (w/preparation and action plan) as we change something, anything.  It can simply be empowering enough to recognize that we can.  

And yet, even if  we are happy with the status quo, we still continue to evolve in a very organic way. Some of us may not even realize that we have changed our “stripes” until we look back from where we came.  As we mature, we “grow” into change. This is a more passive and natural process of change, but change, nonetheless.

However change emerges, one thing is quite clear;  Making a lasting change in behavior is rarely a simple process, and usually involves a substantial commitment of time, effort and emotion.

So when we consider the possibilities for personal change, let’s think about the Zebra. Appreciate that we have options to change our “stripes,”  because we can.  Anytime. It’s a choice.  The real question is…do we want to?

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Do Your Outsides Match Your Insides?

10/10/2013 By Nancy Borg With no comments yet

8412601296_optFor all intents and purposes, let’s just say that “judging a book by its cover” is an accurate measure. Does your appearance reflect who you really are?

  • Do you come across well put together at first glance, but inside your head, you’re actually a disorganized frazzled mess?
  • Do you act cool, calm, and collected, but are actually internalizing a great deal of stress?
  • Does the exterior of your home appear to be well manicured but inside, it looks more like a bomb hit it?
  • Does your shiny car look sleek and sharp on the road from a distance, but under closer inspection, its interior looks more like a “mobile” mess?

First impressions are powerful.  They matter.  People can quickly form an opinion and they often make assessments based purely on first glance. But be mindful that they can be very misleading.  The impeccably dressed and coiffed person may give the distinctive impression of being really organized.  This “dress to impress” style exudes a professionalism, a polished confidence, and yes…success.  This image commands positive attention. But let’s suppose, it’s all just a facade.

Maybe he or she really struggled to find cleaned, ironed, or appropriate clothing that morning, or possibly they just barely arrived on time for an appointment by the skin of their teeth (and no one noticed). In fact, this “seemingly” organized person could have raced out of the house, harried and stressed, leaving a trail of clutter behind and nobody would ever know.

The expectation is that your “look” should reflect your authentic personality, style, and attitude. The caveat to this is that you may dress one way outwardly, but are really a different person on the “inside,” thereby sending out mixed messages.

Perhaps you are not inherently organized at all, but just love the idea of being organized so you dress the part. Paying attention to how your “outside” appearances reflect your self-image can be very enlightening, particularly about how people react to them.  It can work in your favor.  It may even opens doors, that would otherwise be closed.

When your outsides don’t match your insides, it requires a sensible acceptance in order to balance the two.

Here’s the enigma: neat and tidy does not mean organized.  Two different things, indeed.  You can purchase beautiful and decorative containers and still be searching for things.  It has less to do with the packaging or appearance and more about poor organizing systems.

On the other hand, many high-powered executives can operate quite efficiently behind messy desks cluttered with unruly paper piles, because their systems work. The incongruity is that an untidy office does not mean you can’t be successful and driving fancy cars does not mean you’re wealthy.  This is the obvious paradox when insides and outsides are conflicting.

But because we live in a culture that appearances do matter, connecting your outsides with your insides can ultimately affect your productivity. Your physical demeanor can have a huge impact on your mental attitude. When you look good, you feel good. You attract like-minded people, and self-confidence soars. The law of attraction is based upon this positive “like” energy.

Consider this. Paying attention to detail on your physical appearances might inspire a change in other facets of your life. Don’t stop at the mere surface, see if you can make an internal change.  Dig deeper.  Align yourself inside.  When you feel more harmonized, you will be more synchronized.  Balanced.  Inside and out.  

Check the mirror.  Don’t just look organized. Aspire to be organized.  Walk the walk, for real.

 

 

 

 

 

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The Empowerment of Mindful Solitude: Quality Time with Self

10/03/2013 By Nancy Borg With 6 comments

IMG_1827_optI’m definitely a “people” person. In fact, I love being with all kinds of people, most of the time. It’s my nature to be extroverted and I’m very comfortable drumming up a conversation with just about anyone, lol. But, (and this is a big “but”) I also love and value my time… alone.

I’m not referring to an imposed day-off for personal beauty indulgences (also very important), I’m talking about a couple of hours of solitude;  just “me” connecting with “me.”  Whenever I feel overloaded with life schedules and demands, and my head feels cloudy, I lose my focus. It’s then that I know I need some quality time by myself to restore my life-balance.

We probably all need periods of solitude but I think it’s a very personal exercise.  Solitude means something different for each one of us.  Connecting to “self” puts exclusive attention on oneself.  Some of us embrace it, while others avoid it, and still others are just not able to self examine at all.

Today was my solitude day, and so I planned for a few quiet hours with myself.  The weather was stellar, the opportunity was knocking. With paper and pen, off I went to my happy place by the marina.  There’s a quaint little town near my house overlooking the harbor that I love to go to.  It’s where I can sit by the pier and look at the serene landscape and appreciate the beauty of nature. The moment you approach, you can instantly feel the quiet and stillness. Today, even the docked boats were still, and the water so calm with barely a ripple. Surrounded by this tranquility, it was easy for me to shut down from the mundane.  Oddly, it was the hush that “woke” up my senses.

Being alone does not imply that you are alone, it’s a choice. When we are alone with our thoughts, it’s honest.  There’s no pretense.  No distractions.  Just you with yourself . Go deeper. It’s a time to know ourselves and regain perspective.

Sometimes solitude is a time for reflection and soul searching, but other times it’s just the simple enjoyment of the moment. There is peace in solitude.  Getting lost in thought, devoid of any conversation, is so liberating. Embrace the quiet. It inspires. The perfect setting for an empowering epiphany.

“Solitude suggests peacefulness stemming from a state of inner richness.  It is a means of enjoying the quiet and whatever it brings that is satisfying and from which we draw sustenance.  It is something we cultivate. Solitude is refreshing; an opportunity to renew ourselves.  It replenishes us.”– Hara Marano

It’s a great idea to schedule both time for yourself and with yourself. There’s a difference, don’t you think?

 

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