To say that I’ve had a lot on my plate the last three months is a grandiose understatement. With both of my children engaged, and their weddings within 10 weeks of each other (one down, one to go), my summer was immersed with bridal showers and wedding plans galore (times two), all while maintaining my busy client schedule. Time-management became a masterful art when challenged to schedule bridal/dress fittings, hair and make-up trials, caterer, florists and band appointments, micro-managing timelines, details upon details (too many details to detail, lol), all with a bride that was way busier than me. I like to think about them now as happy headaches, but with consequences nonetheless. The fast pace of an overwhelming to do list resulted in a stress-induced vertigo episode that lingered for over two weeks.
Throughout the entire process, I was stressed and pressed for time. Summer never quite felt like the relaxing summers of the past. I realized that there is a status of busy, and then there’s “I can’t breathe” busy. This kind of busy clocks you into your priorities, big time. Clearly, what had to get done, got done. Non-negotiable and timeline sensitive. And then there was everything else.
Notwithstanding that I disregarded other routine responsibilities, I fell off social media hard. After 5 years of routinely posting weekly blogs, dabbling in FaceBook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Pinterest, and Twitter, I logged into self and blogged out of the web. Although at first, it was neither hard nor easy. It just wasn’t even a thought. Every day was jam-packed with a checklist and I was on a fast track mission. It was only after several consecutive weeks of neglecting my blog that some guilt invaded. It was something I enjoyed for so long and scheduled consistently, I felt I was breaking a good habit. Weeks turned into months and my web presence halted on a dime. My anxiety waxed and waned more with wonder as to what my followers would think, or worse, what if no one even noticed?
It was increasingly hard to engage in FaceBook. There was simply no time or space to keep up. Admittedly, there were some late nights while engrossed in my wedding spreadsheets, I found myself scrolling mindlessly through my newsfeed, not feeling connected at all. I felt somewhat like an alien.
More time has lapsed and until now, I’ve fallen off this routine completely. The distance has changed my perspective a bit. I may click here and there, but I spend significantly less time on the screen. I’ve fallen off the grid before but not for this long. Now I question how much time I really want to devote to this as I jump back in.
Having celebrated this wedding milestone in my life with so many special friends and family has re-directed me back to the basics. I want more personal connection. Perhaps it’s about living life with more intention and evaluating what really matters. I find myself wanting to pick up the phone more to talk, connect with old friends and check in more often. Social Media can swallow you up and it can feel liberating to dial it back a little and check in with yourself.
For sure, FaceBook has its merits and connects people in ways we could have never imagined in an instant. It’s a powerful and effective platform for so many situations and relationships, both personally and professionally. But sometimes virtual connections are often too easy. It can breed laziness and compromise personal relationships. There are so many ways we can connect and communicate. My impression is that an actual phone call will always trump a text, and a personal text trumps a FaceBook post, and a comment still beats a “like.” Always. These are revealing levels of intimacy.
As far as My Blog, I’m OK with the ebb and flow. It is mine to have and to hold forever. It’s a personal space that I’ve created to share my voice or catch a thought. It may not be Wednesday and it may not be weekly. These were confinements of my choosing. I understand now that this rhythym of committment will come and go with the ever-evolving me. Aligning our priorities is an ongoing process. This honest epiphany doesn’t make me any smarter, just human 🙂
Counting down to another wedding yet to come. The joy of witnessing both my children’s marriage in the same year is indescribable. I cannot wait to do it all over again and then alas, restore some life-balance and breathe.
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